(I recently discovered an essay that I wrote at the end of 2020; since we are now finishing up 2025, this seems like a good time to share it with you . . . )
“A series circuit is a Voltage Divider. Two light bulbs on the same series circuit share the voltage of the battery: if the battery is 9V, then each bulb gets 4.5 volts.
A parallel circuit avoids this problem. Two bulbs in a simple parallel circuit each enjoy the full voltage of the battery. This is why the bulbs in the parallel circuit will be brighter than those in the series circuit.”
— https://www.bu.edu/gk12/jeff/Unit/Lesson6.htm
As my semester of teaching during this Covid epidemic was wearily coming to a close, I came to the unwanted realization that I was spending way too much of my time and energy—the very essence of my existence—on too many mundane details. Whether as a college instructor, home-owner, or fellow-manager of a duplex that my wife has owned for years, I felt as if my life had become a series of one practical task after another, each reducing the energy or enthusiasm that remained for the next one in line.
Fortunately, my brain is wired in such a way that I am continually pondering the right things to do, and the right ways to do them. This creates a good system of tracks to run on. It gets things done even when I have little interest or energy for the task at hand, which was an especially good thing this past semester when the presence of Covid forced all of us to adjust, and then re-adjust, how we did everything from getting groceries to interacting via Zoom for online chats, meetings, and classes. And we did it! We adjusted, and found ways to be productive. We found ways to get through.
But something was missing. As my church celebrated the weeks of Advent leading up to Christmas, I realized that I wasn’t feeling “joy,” that sense of simple contentment and happiness. So, I asked myself the question that I have returned to many times through the years: “What makes me happy?” If I ignore those voices in my head that keep reminding me of what I “should” be doing with my time, and if I block out what modern culture tries to sell me on, what would I include on my list of sure-fire ways to make myself happy?
As I began my “happy list,” I looked back over the years and remembered what seemed perfectly normal to me as a seventeen-year-old (and which I realize now reveals what a nerd I was in high school): I had joined the “Book of the Month” club and enjoyed reading what a panel of experts had voted each month as the best new writing that was out there. And the books really were great. To this day, I easily re-experience reading Kramer vs. Kramer, The World According to Garp, and The Girl in a Swing. At the time of my first reading, I felt sophisticated, and challenged, and happy while reading those monthly selections.
So the first thing I decided to do to get my life back on a happy track was to re-join The Book of the Month Club. My first (and only selection so far) is The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany, about an elderly aunt who takes her two grand-nieces across Italy with the goal of breaking a centuries-long curse that has kept the second-born daughters in the family from finding and marrying the one true love of their lives. It is not great literature, but it is a good story. Perhaps the quality of the writing doesn’t matter all that much because I am content when I settle into my upholstered chair and enjoy doing something that has absolutely no practical benefit other than making me happy.
A former version of my happy-list included not only reading, but also running, music, and movies. Another activity would soon follow shortly after I entered college as a non-traditional student. My first semester there—the second class I signed up for—was a ballroom dance class. I had wanted to learn how to swing dance ever since American Graffiti was on the big screen and high schools held sock hops in never-been-there nostalgic fashion to revisit the 1950s. Ballroom dancing was added to my happy-list, and never left. Later, there was graduate school, then an offer to get paid to teach other people how to Swing and Lindy-Hop and Ballroom dance, and now a long-playing Recreation Department gig teaching ballroom dancing where I now live.
In some ways, ballroom dancing is merely an escape from all of those mundane tasks that we as adults have to do simply because they need to be done. But ballroom dancing is more than that: it’s being happy, happy listening to great music, of learning some dance steps, of moving to that music using those dance steps, of being around interesting and nice people. It is also the magical transformation of your psyche that comes about on the dance floor, regardless of whether the day you just had was awful, mundane, or actually pretty good.
It’s the start of a new year; what’s included on your happy-list?